I can’t believe that Bryan and I are getting ready to celebrate our 3 year wedding anniversary!  Even though we have been together for almost 10 years, I feel like we are constantly still learning about one another. I wanted to share a little bit about our marriage and what has helped our marriage continue to grow.  Now we are no experts by any means, as 3 years is just the beginning, but no one will ever be an expert in marriage regardless of the amount of time they have been together.

Since the day we got married, I have trusted Bryan with my life no matter what type of season we are in.  Bryan has been a gift in my life and I am still not sure why God gave him to me and allowed me to be his wife. Bryan is one of the most selfless people you will ever meet. He always puts others first (other than God) and is hardworking, forgiving, and so generous with his time and finances.  I am not saying we have a “perfect” marriage by any means, because we don’t, and that is why God put us two imperfect people together. As we get ready to embark on our fourth year of marriage, I cannot wait to see how God uses these lessons that I have learned to continue to grow us in the Lord together and independently, and heck maybe into a family! I want to model a type of marriage where our son and/or daughter will grow up and want to be good husbands or good wives for their spouse.

1. Communication

Bryan and I have slowly but surely gotten better at this important lesson. Going into marriage I always thought we were good at communicating because we did a lot of long distance and we had to communicate all the time. Well I was wrong. In marriage, it takes communication to the next level. I think to continue to grow your relationship you have to tell each other everything and I mean everything – your struggles, pains, joys, sins, etc. When you share those moments you grow closer together and can help carry one another’s burdens and also fully experience the joyous moments. Marriage doesn’t always have two strong people in it at the same time. Along with communication, make sure you listen to one another when you are speaking. One other lesson I have learned when it comes to communication is that when you argue, there is no winner or loser. That is not important at the end of the day.  What is important is loving each other even when you may not like each other in that moment.

2. Time

The longer we are married, it feels like life starts to go by faster and faster.  Bryan always hates that feeling. He loves to just be present in the time we are in. It becomes more important to spend time together. Not only time, but quality time. We have both learned to put our phones down more while we are with one another (me more so than him) to give each other that quality time that we both need. Personally, those are my favorite nights when we pour a glass of wine and just talk and laugh together. It is fun to make those memories together and make laughter the sound track of our marriage.

3. Intentionality

Piggy backing off time, when Bryan and I were dating and then going through our pre-marital class, we read the Five Love Languages book and that helped us know how each other feels most loved. For me, I learned that I feel most loved with acts of service, physical touch, and gifts. Whereas for Bryan, his love language is also acts of services, gifts, and quality time. We have learned how to best love one another because the way we ourselves show love isn’t necessarily the same way the other person feels loved. I have also learned that I need to be intentional with people that surround us and our marriage because I want to surround myself with friends that will strengthen our marriage not weaken it.

Lastly, one of my biggest tips is to always continue to date one another. Dating each other does not end with marriage. Love each other more than you did yesterday, and more tomorrow than you do today.

Thank you for celebrating another year of marriage with us! I hope this was helpful for you too regardless of where you are relationally with someone. Please let me know what things you have learned in your marriage or relationship that may be helpful for me too! 🙂

xoxo,

T